It's man devouring man, my dear

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PheobeMeryll's avatar
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I just watched the last episode of Cowboy Bebop.  Words can't express it…that feeling you get at the end of a story you loved very much.  It's a feeling of depression and possessive sadness, like you can't stand to give it up – like you can't stand to leave it.  I used to feel that way about a lot of stories when I was younger…like when I first finished the Chronicles of Narnia, or Lord of the Rings.  I would get really depressed and hide somewhere in a corner.  This time I just wept liberally and listened to the music over and over.  It was so sad.  And so…eloquent.  The ending reflects exactly what I feel about life right now.  Don't laugh.  I'm serious.  (I was considering using a semicolon between those two clauses, but I thought that would look affected.  I'm just rambling.  This is no work of literature.)  Everything that's worth fighting for – what is it in the end?  A dream.  A hero dies in the dirt like everyone else.  He is mortal.  Everything is mortal, temporary.  There is no permanence.  We form connections and we make bonds, and in the end we are parted from those we love.  

Sometimes fiction is realer than reality.  I don't care if that statement makes me look like a naïve, bookish little nerd…it's true.  Fiction doesn't substitute for, but rather amplifies truth.  I can't stand those people who aren't touched by a good story.  The kind of people who "don't get" the Orwell or Steinbeck or Salinger that they have to read for lit class.  The kind of people who "hate sad endings."  People like that really are afraid of the dark.  They're afraid of the darkness of the human soul.  The darkness of mortality.  Wasn't it Truman who said "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen?"  The sad part is, the world IS the kitchen.  So if you can't stand the heat – or at least look it in the eye and understand it enough to acknowledge its presence – if you can't even do that, you are screwed, because there is no escape.  We are all encased in the broiling hot kitchen of mortality.  We are all in the same situation.  And to ignore that fact is to be in denial.

For what's the sound of the world out there?
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
It's man devouring man, my dear!

Am I even making sense?

I hate these little rants.  They're just pieces of my brain…my brain that goes every which way and is nothing more than a scraggly, lumpy patchwork quilt of songs lyrics, books, animes, dramas, historical quotations, and philosophy.  I don't blame anyone who gets a good laugh out of what I just wrote here.  I have no pretenses.  It's exactly what's going through my head.  And it's probably crap.  Oh, well.  At least I feel better now that I wrote it.
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LadyWinter's avatar
I'm sorry, if I was not so tired I would probably write a lengthy response to this journal...but I won't. =3 I also do not like reaching the end of a great story. It does make me feel empty. Perhaps it is that feeling that keeps me from finishing books nowadays (or even starting them.) Pathetic, huh? I used to be completely engrossed in books.

Do you write your own stories? You seem like you would be the type. =) I love reading about the worlds other people create, but ever since elementary school I have been trying to do it on my own as well. I am not that good at it because I lack creativity (even though many of my English teachers have told me I'm talented, I hardly believe it). I want to be able to write a good, compelling story like the ones I read...with characters that seem real. I don't want to stick out for being just a little better at writing than my classmates. Yes, it is good to be able to write well, but it hardly matters if what you're writing about isn't interesting. =/ I for one do not like reading stories simply because the author makes pretty sentences. I like reading that sort of stuff if it's only a small section. Sometimes I can ignore that the writing itself is not all that good if the story is great! I hope the author can articulate the story well, but what I am interested in is what the author has to say and not so much in how they say it. I'm interested in the story. But that's just me.

Well, goodness, I ended up writing more than I though. :XD: It's time to do some chores~